nazuna wishes this was that. that weird sensation of being pressed together before you can catch a breath again. but this had persisted for far longer, lingered horribly and he couldn’t even bring himself to gasp for air. “you’re-” there is such an accusatory tone in his voice and, honestly, nazuna can’t fault him for it. “why are you helping out?” the dim stagelights dance on the curtains next to them, the muffled sounds of singing ring through the backstage hallways. but still, he can tell the sharpness in mika’s voice and it takes him so much to look up and lock their eyes.
“i don’t hate you”, the words flutter through the compressed air, their wings trembling as they struggle against the heavy atmosphere, “of course i would still help valkyrie when you need it.”
something hurts, presses together even more heavily than the surroundings, and he gripes at the hem of his outfit. the dark blue fabric entangles with his fingers, swirls the colours together into a popstar red. it’s the same red that’s lightly floating around mika’s waist, the hems of valkyrie’s long dress effortlessly resisting the concrete that seems to drip onto nazuna. mika looks away first, his heterochromatic eyes illuminated in millions of colours by the flickering stage lighting, and nazuna swallows the stone lodged in his throat.
“why did you even join those kids? aren’t you just going to betray them like you did with us?”, there isn’t any anger in those words. just water welling up on averted irises and a lifetime of desparate curiousity, “you weren’t there when we needed you. you didn’t even try to stay in contact when i thought- i thought…” the smog lifts for a moment. the blonde reaches his hand into his high collar, fumbles with a small chain crammed below the fabric. it’s a simple moment of remembrance, a detail he had been meaning to show, help his case about how he loves the younger despite everything, “mika.” the gold trim on mika’s outfit glows in the light and with the singing growing quieter, there isn’t much time left to make his point.
cheers erupt behind the curtains, nazuna can fill in the blanks, hear trickstar fumble with their microphones as they laugh, bid their goodbyes and introduce the next stages. mika sighs defeatedly, “‘ts whatever really, you don’t have to respond.” they need to get up there, get ready to run up there and he doesn’t have a second to consider his decision as he grabs onto mika’s wrist, still holding onto the pendant in his other. it’s quite a deep breath of the sweaty air he has to take as he spills his guts, “i thought you hated me! you never texted me, you looked disappointed when you saw me! of course i didn’t bother you, but i never stopped being”, he pauses and his pupils tremble as he bites his tongue, “in love with you.”
nazuna flashes a smile as mika stares at the necklace around his neck, “i really never stopped.” he bows politely, tilts his head and lets go of the pendant, lets it fall back into his collar, “let’s have fun on stage okay?”